Life Juxtaposed

How funny...

I have walked from an amazingly inspiring environment back to boredom central. It's definately two polar ends of the spectrum that I have experienced in the last week - US WSC v Canadian Traineeship.

I am generally a person that believes that at certain times in your life things come up to tell you things. Kind of like, indicators where you need to stop and think about where you are headed.

The AIESEC US WSC was definately a Mazzy indicator.

I was luckily in a role and environment which I loved again... and I had forgotten what it felt like to be in a role I loved. I love talking to people, I love educating people, I love interpreting and creating a group dynamic.... If only the job of Chair was a fulltime, fully paid position then I would be set on my dream for life.

Contrast that to my traineeship environment - people who do not like what they do, are unmotivated, who do nothing, office politics is high, and i am stuck in a windowless room all day. Talk about stifling my personality, and quite obviously causing me to count down the hours till the end of each day.

The quality and environment of my traineeship, and my frustration with it, is nothing new. I have spoken and unleashed my thoughts about this discontent often on my blog. BUT attending WSC was a HUGE kick up the butt. What the hell am I doing working in this role? In this environment? Where is my passion for a higher purpose and the job that I do? Where is my passion for my co-workers?

Quite frankly, it is not present.

SO now I need to make some life decisions.

Yes, I was going to do my masters but now I am not sure... sitting in a room all day, studying hmmm it sounded good... but its not truely what makes me tick, and since I do not need masters to get where I need to go, I am not sure that this is an urgent to do for me.

I was also considering another traineeship or work abroad in a large multi-national corporation. This would enable me to get the pure corporate point of view and environment I have lacked to date. Also I would like to work in a competent people development role, so this is definately a possibility - no matter where in the world it is located.

Based off my recent passion for AIESEC US, (I love those members ALOT), another option is running for the planning and co-ordinator role which is definately something I would love to do, also working in a completely different @ environment, travelling the US, and of course working with some amazing people. But this role is for two years, and I am not sure I want to define my life for that amount of time doing that role.

Another idea I have is running for AIESEC International. It is something that I thought about this time last year, but I had NO motivation for the organisation back then and was quite disillusioned by the people within it. I just did not see inspirational leadership, I did not see passion for changing the world, and so I thought @ would need a major reform in ternms of leadership before we could make any huge step in the direction of impacting people to make that change. Now I have a different point of view, I think that by focusing on building inspiring leaders with the desire and the ability to make change, we can really have a great impact.... I guess being in a traineeship has made me see what is really important, and this was re-inforced at WSC. So this is also an option, and would be many of the things I love doing contained in one role.

For those of you who know me, you know I want to start my own organisation. I actually know exactly what this org will do, who I want to work in it, how it will happen. But I want to strart it from Australia, and at this stage I don't think I am quite ready to return home. There is plenty of time for that and my vision :-)

Hmmmm.... another idea is to work in an organisation with a culture I love... and a purpose I love... I will be researching these tonight. I know an organisation in Netherlands which is about ideas - and their consultants just go into different orgs to provide ideas and creativity. I have also seen another position ' Director of Applied Imagination' which is pretty awesome aswell. Or an organisation aligned with the one I want to start called 'Passion Planning'. These options are also highly appealing to me at the moment.

Maybe working for an NGO in Asia or Africa... this is something that has always been a dream... maybe now is the time to pursue this before getting serious with my own organisation..

At any rate, this weekend I will be making some tough decisions.

But no matter what I am resolved to not extend my traineeship. I am meant to finish January 15, and worse comes to worse I will finish February 1st. No matter what option I take, I know this environment and work is not what I want to be doing for very much longer.

Decision time - taking notice of this indicator!