The Whirlwind Effect

So, I have had a COMPLETE turn around in my work situation.

Since talking to my boss, I have some REALLY cool stuff coming up, and have actually got a 'to do' list book that I am aggressively using.

It is nothing short of amazing.

I have mega work. Mega deadlines. Many projects again. Personal meetings with people across the bank.

I went to Switzerland, and I am going to London next week. After that I go to a Global Diversity conference, then to France to chair their national conference, then I will also likely travel to Asia to implement a Talent conference with my talent team in late November... so things are looking up.

It's crazy.

It's good.

It's tiring.

But it's satisfying.

It's like I went from one end of the spectrum to the other in a few days... when all the buttons I have been pressing to make changes in my personal changes, have been used at the SAME TIME, and the effect is whirlwind like.

One happy camper.

The Gals

UiyMarket Weekend August 2005 089, originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

Last weekend... Maria and Kimbo before they left on their train back to Brussels. WONDERFUL time catching up!

Finally

So I am about to embark on my first non-AIESEC, international business trip!

It appears after another one on one meeting, and the sentence ' I miss having deadlines', my supervisor finally realised that action was needed.

SO I now have more work, quality work - and I will be accompanying him tomorrow on a business trip to Zurich, to plan with the top management team on how to drive diversity and inclusion in Switzerland!!!

Pretty exciting, I have to admit.

I have even ironed my clothes properly!

Good to report something cool happening from work... i think this will be an awesome learning opportunity :-)

Going to bed early...ok, maybe I will read for a bit!

Bad Hair Day

I am the lucky winner of the bad hair day lottery.

My hair has NEVER looked so bad.

My desire for HERBAL ESSENCES is intense.

I cannot work in these conditions.

Distracted.
Dazed.
Fugly.

Only cure... SHOWER!

ZOE, The Catalyst

HUGE hugs & thanks to Zoe!!!

Today she met me at lunch when I was really bored and down from work, and gave me the inspiration I needed to make some changes.

In the last half an hour I have booked meetings with 4 different people, have a conference call set up, am starting my own initiative again, have signed up for more work with my colleague and feel the blood pumping in my veins.

I think I will end up booking the whole bank for meetings at this rate :-)

Turning Academic Again ...

Since apparently there is no work for me to do in my organisation, despite constantly asking, I have decided to not sit here like a loser looking and looking for things, but rather to start writing articles that may be helpful for my organisation.

Any ideas on topics you think could be interesting to explore?

Actively Disengaged

I loved the link to the article that Lil put up on actively disengaged workers. Seems it is something that alot of people around me are talking about these days, especially if you are working in a larger organisational structure.

Mega Tired

Today I was a zombie at work, but it was a testament to the awesome weekend I had, Here are some highlights:

* ABN AMRO Friday drinks with trainees
* Greenpeace drinks for Mils and Emily where I met a crazy Aussie contingent... Australia night is coming up soon, and I will now attend
* KIMBO AND MARIA VISITED AMSTERDAM!
* Mega catch up night with Kimbo.... so much to talk about, and we could hgve kept talking for days
* Morning cafe time with Maria and Kimbo on Sunday. Maria it was soooooo wonderful to finally spend some time together!
* Monster in Law movie in the afternoon with Mils... really good
* Dinner and relaxing at home!

Now I am going to Brussels in a fortnight.... LOVING IT!

Pictures soon!

The Spark

Sometimes you can lose your spark
You lose your momentum
You wonder why you are going to a job you don't like, with people who do not inspire you, doing things that you could do with your eyes shut.

Sometimes you lose your spark
You forget what it was you wanted to do
You wonder how it could be that you have gotten so far away from what your heart tells you to do, what really makes you happy.

Over the last few weeks I can honestly say that I had lost my spark. I had lost my drive for life in Amsterdam. I started to become resigned. Resigned to my situation, to my job, to my organisation, to my people.

But sometimes that spark can be re-ignited.

My spark is now once again strong.

Two key things happened yesterday to remind me of who I am, or rather more true to say, who I was not so long ago.

1. The Negative Catalyst

I have been working intensively on a diversity toolkit at ABN AMRO, and have done 95% of the kit solo. But my supervisor has attached his name, and yesterday had a meeting with the big boss to get feedback. I cannot tell you how incredibly demotivating it was to have my work talked about without me in the room, and by someone that had taken quite a minor role overall in it's development. To have that work passed off as equal, and to not even hear the feedback about it which I really wanted to know. After the meeting, my supervisor approached me with three small corrections, but no major changes. It had passed, it was good. But no positive feedback, no thank you for your contribution. Only... there are three small corrections to be made.

Demotivated.

2. The Positive Catalyst

Ready to explode from anger, and starting to 'sign off' ABN AMRO in my mind, I headed to a diversity meeting with other passionate trainees in the bank. We spent 5 or so hours discussing diversity, looking at it in the bank, looking at what we could do as AIESECers to make a more inclusive environment, to play a role. I have not thought so much in ages, I actually could feel myself being re-energised in the process of the meeting. Bergio said, Maz... I see you as you were in Denmark again... you are back!!! You are inspired.

It was true. I was motivated.

But what I got back was my spark.

My belief in myself, in what I want and can do.
My knowledge that I need to USE my bank experience
My awareness that I need to challenge the top people

My spark, that I can do anything was back.

And finally, I feel that feeling I had so often on my national teams... I am again in control of my experiences, and making things happen.

Happy, and content.
Speaking fast, moving quickly, laughing often

I feel re-energised, and I know I am again starting to shine.

GO SPARK GO!!

Aussies... Gotta Love 'em!

So, last night I was out at our weekly drinks at the Heffer pub and we met some Aussie guys...

I mean REAL HARDCORE Aussie ocker men.

And you know what?

It was FAB!

My gawd, to hear the Aussie accent in all it's glory again...

To appreciate the EXTREME laid back attitude that I can now notice having lived abroad, and in some perhaps not so laid back places. ...

To laugh and laugh at EVERYTHING...

To appreciate a good beer together - with nothing implied but having a good time..

I mean, it was like a breath of fresh air.

I realise I do miss home... or homes.

I miss Australia

AND I have to admit I also really miss Canada/North America.

These are the two places that I have felt the most at home in, and whilst I love living in Amsterdam, it does not feel like home to me. I am too disconnected from it, as in Copenhagen. They were amazing places to live, but they did not speak to me in the ways Canada and Oz do. They do not speak to me as places I would call 'home'.

The plus side...

August 2005 076, originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

To having no sun, is a sunday inside. Ok, yes it would be amazing to go to the beach BUT staying indoors can also be cosy.

and relaxing ....

A good book, pjs, tea, toast, warm bed, soft music - I mean, it's a perfect Sunday really.

Where is the SUN?

Ok I have had ENOUGH!

Where is the sun?
Is summer over in The Netherlands?
Did it even arrive?
Will it come back?
Why is it always grey and raining?
Where is the summer warmth?
Will we sun that lasts for more than an hour?

Go away raining clouds - give us some much earned sun loving.

If the sun does not touch my skin soon, I think I will start to go CRAZY!

Unexpected

Yesterday I went to the movies and watched 'The Perfect Man'. It is the movie about a single mother (Heather Locklear) and her two daughters (Hilary Duff plays one). It definately will not go doen in the classics section in blockbuster BUT I did find some of the things it was saying particuarly relevant.

In the movie, every time the mother has a failed relationship or something goes wrong, they move to a new plave. New people, new possibilities. What I found interesting about this is the way they touched on the relationships you develop as a traveller.

Because they know they will most likely be leaving soon, the charactes refreain from building close relationships, romance or otherwise. And to a certain extent I see this within myself. I am finding it really easy to make connections with people, but the more I am moving countries, I am placing less effort in it than I was previously. It's weird. Strange to desribe. But it has given me alot to think about, this 'i never expected to come out thinking about life' movie.

The power of RAH

There is nothing like the power of RAH!

The act of letting out all your internal energy, good or bad. Letting it out of the system, gives such release.

The act of letting go...

Sometimes there is nothing better than a RAH!

It's starting...

My heart and thoughts are now with all my US AIESEC friends who are heading into another amazing conference experience. Guys I wish I was there, with you all.... but I know you will have SUCH an amazing time....

A big fat MWAH!!!!!

Must confess, its also true.

SteamRollerSitThere, originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

How true it is...

true, originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

De Parade

Paris 017
Originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

Last week I attended De Parade, which is a theatre and arts festival that travels around Netherlands in the Summer.

All I need to do is say one thing: GO!

It was absolutely my scene.

Little theatre houses, experimental styles, still discos, and in general... just weird stuff.

I mean, even going to the toilet was a treat!!!

Paris 018
Originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

Another one of the groovy little theatre houses.

And to add, the atmopshere was electric. People sitting outside, eating dinner, music, and different theatre house shows you could just pop into.

Spectacular.

Paris 019
Originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

The coolest little old cinema house. The festival boasted many of these cool little places - all decorated individually. Some old style, some 1930s, some modern, some cultural.

Definately a visual treat for the eyes aswell!

Using my instinct

So, I was about to go for an interview in Brussels for a management consultant trainee position. I must confess that I have no desire to have trainee status again (but this time it is not an AIESEC one) but I realise that it is probably a good start in management consulting for all the reasons associated with credibility and learning.

Interviews were to happen in the Radisson Hotel, Brussels.

However, I have decided not to go for it, and I am happy about that. I know my motivation for doing it is more related to security and location, rather than love of what it would be like. My heart told me no. My head told me yes.

To be honest, when I came to ABN AMRO, I used my head. And I am glad for it, because it told me how important it is to listen to your heart, listen to your intuition. Your gut feeling.

I started to feel myself doing the same thing I did before coming here.... looking for options, instead of looking for ideal. Naturally there needs to be a balance. But I have raised the bar on what I consider to be 'options' now. I will not do something because it sounds good, because it looks good, because it is a 'good opportunity'.

Opportunities come and go, and anything can be made to sound good given the write angle of viewing it.

I will chose options now, that mean something to me, that will give satisfaction in my heart, and not just my head.

Not going to this interview, is a small step in that direction.

Whats the rush?

Better to wait, and find something that fulfills the basic criteria to making me happy.

Just a wee bit NUTTY!

DSCN0575
Originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

French Canadian CRAZIES!

crazy roomies
Originally uploaded by Mazzy2.

Finally my friend sent me a picture of my Canadian farewell party...

In this picture you can see Felix and Philippe, my old roomies... TOTAL NUTTERS these two! Love them to bits though, and loved living in that house!

Inspiring Companies

Does anyone have any information/ideas on the most inspiring companies to work for?

I would be interested in reading/hearing it!

Angels Wings

Medieval Festival 2005 042, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

I wanted to buy these SO much.

How cool are they?!

Medieval Festival - YIPPEE!

Medieval Festival 2005 028, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

So, I had an amazing weekend.

One highlight was travelling out of Amsterdam with a few trainees to a Medieval Festival in Hillegom, Southern Netherlands.

It ROCKED.

Amazing music, awesome LARP, costumes, stalls, a real castle...

A true memory.

Medieval Festival 2005 037, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Medieval Festival 2005 059, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

I love Paris

Paris 012, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Like you would not believe!

Canadian Roomies

Paris 116, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Mims(Canadian) and Maja (Polish) roomies from Montreal. They both live mow in France... and it was our reunion!

Trivia Night

Paris 110, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Last Thursday I ran a trivia night at the pub, it was loads of fun. I just felt like doing something different, you know?

Colleagues

Paris 094, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Some of my colleagues coming over for a yummy chicken sate dinner at my place :-)

Girls Night IN!

Paris 014, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

A girls sleepover at Marias house a few weeks ago. It was an awesome night of wine, movies, gossip and good woman chill'n.

Bergio, Look Sexy!

Paris 063, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

And here's the output!

Monday @ Drinks

Paris 071, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Every Monday we go to the Heffer Pub in cental Amsterdam, and have AIESEC drinks. Here are some of my trainee friends in action :-)

Copenhagen Stopover

copenhagen, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Here are some pics that Signe sent me of my stopover day in Copenhagen, on the way to Amsterdam in May.

It is Sam, Maja, Margit, and Wing with me - a girlie shot!

I am SOOO Jealous

Jealous, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Got an email from Lynsey about her job when she was on the NY 2012 Olympic Team. Here she is in Singapore, with Hilary Clinton... and also she met Mohummad Ali.

Rambo Remko

rambo, originally uploaded by Mazzy.

Awesome, I found a picture of Ilonas man....

RAMBO REMKO!!!

Looking good, dude ;-)