Sad
I feel really sad, and have been a bag of emotions all night.
Even writing this, I am shedding tears as I type - and have been a water excursion ever since I left our weekly Monday Amsterdam drinks.
I feel really sick of this whole lifestyle - of having close friends and then saying goodbye.
I feel like I am constantly recreating relationships - but I miss the intensity.
I was at a new trainee event the other night and stayed literally 5 minutes... I mean the people are lovely - but I just felt so disconnected.
Disconnected.
I need to meet some people who will stay longer than 6 months - I can't take THIS anymore.
Enough.
Even writing this, I am shedding tears as I type - and have been a water excursion ever since I left our weekly Monday Amsterdam drinks.
I feel really sick of this whole lifestyle - of having close friends and then saying goodbye.
I feel like I am constantly recreating relationships - but I miss the intensity.
I was at a new trainee event the other night and stayed literally 5 minutes... I mean the people are lovely - but I just felt so disconnected.
Disconnected.
I need to meet some people who will stay longer than 6 months - I can't take THIS anymore.
Enough.
2 Comments:
Hey babe,
I plead guilty to being one of those trainees that stayed for 2 months, and then suddenly left with a bag full of close friendships, secrets, and memorable medleys.
Saying goodbye is tough... but you've survived multiple head injuries - both international and domestic, this should be peanuts to you. :P
As a saying goes, "it's better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all". The good thing about friends is that you don't really lose them after they physically leave. I'm sure one day we are going to meet again, play Ming, Mang, Mong, and I'll get completely trashed playing it.
Aiesec brings the world together in a small community, which creates a culture that often challenges social norms. And the transient nature of it all is one of the greatest difficulties. But I rememer you told me once that changing people's lives and perspectives is one of the things you enjoy doing -well, guess what, you are doing an AMAZING job of it in this trainee community and the bank. Please stay longer in future newbie meetings - they need you!!!
Besides, what would a big group of strangers do without drinks AND Mazzy? I don't even wanna picture it...
x
p.s. the week before I left, I cried all the way from the bar to my apartment, too... I hate that feeling.
Thanks hon...
Yeah I was definately in one of thos 'moments' where I was just really upset at the whole reality of life in Amsterdam.
But I guess, always with the down side there is the up side. That we get to meet so many amazing people - that we get to impact and be impacted by peoples lives. That we get to meet so many people that share experiences with us in our path through life.
Thank you hon, for you amazing words... It is true, I need to throw myself into it all again - go along with the ride and be thankful for all the good things!
Hugs Maz
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